1st, 2nd and 3rd Trimester Losses
There are differences between the different types of losses and their perception. There are also similarities.
I always thought, even before starting my journey in the baby-making-business, that having your child die must be the most painful experience for any parent…I never thought I was going to experience the veridicity of this thought, and agree with the statement.
Any bereaved parent is likely to experience the isolation and feeling of not being understood: well-meaning people will say that they ‘understand’, that they ‘know’, and we can only answer: “Be glad you really don’t!”
They feel sorry for us, they feel our pain and they feel their own pain for the death of your child but at some point they will start pushing you to move forward and ‘get over it’.
Here’s the thing: you don’t ‘get over’ the death of your child.
The best case scenario is that in time you will learn to live with the pain of his/her absence and you will possibly come to accept it.
In some cases however, the rage, anger, disappointment and guilt stay raw for an indefinite amount of time.
There is no right or wrong, grieving is a lifelong process and you need to do what your heart and body tell you to do.
Ask for assistance in taking care of your older children and in taking care of anything around the house. You’ll need time for yourself.
Of course the younger your baby was (in gestational weeks), the less understanding and sympathy you’ll most probably get: some people know better than to measure our pain depending on the number of weeks our baby spent inside of us, but most people don’t.
Bless them, they have no clue (and this is mostly due to the fact that they refuse to think it through, feel your tragedy and put themselves in your shoes).
Read more within the “Which Trimester?” Menu:
Which Trimester? 1st Trimester Losses
2nd Trimester Losses 3rd Trimester Losses
Read more in the other Menus:
Practicalities Support Which Trimester?
Was it your Firstborn? (Not) Trying Again?
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