Until not so many years ago, when a baby was stillborn, it was taken away immediately from the mother. Not only was she not allowed to see her own child, but she was urged to forget about it and just try again. Often the subsequent child was named with the same name the parents had chosen for their stillborn child.
Now we are (mostly) given the choice if we want to see our baby. If you are reading this and your baby has not been born yet, think about what you want now, but also try to think ahead as not to have regrets.
Should you decide to see your baby, make sure you bring the best camera you have to make plenty of pictures of the baby alone, with you, with you and your partner, with and without the teddy-bear you have chosen for him or her.
Ask the hospital staff to take some pictures, and be sure to ask for them in a soft format, so you can order prints if you choose to.
Should you decide not to see the baby, make sure someone takes some pictures. You need to keep that option open for the future and be able to see your baby if you change your mind at a later stage.
Depending on the foetal age of your baby, you will be able to hold, cuddle and kiss him/her.
I know it might sound morbid but kiss her/him, if you can, soon after birth…(s)he will still be warm and soft.
Bring a blanket to cuddle her/him and a teddy-bear. The blanket can stay with him, while the teddy-bear can stay with you (or vice versa).
I named the teddy-bear with my son’s second name and I love it when my living son speaks that name.
It is customary for Hospital staff to take prints of your baby’s hands and feet: even if you don’t want to see them now, you might want to see them later on.
If nobody mentions this specifically, make sure they will do it for you and your baby.
Read more within the “Practicalities” Menu:
Giving Birth Seeing the Baby: Pictures + Hands & Feet Prints
Autopsy Memory Box – Baby Book Planning the Funeral
How to Answer to a “How are you Doing?” Finding your New Normal
Someone You Care About Just Lost a Baby
Read more in the other Menus:
Practicalities Support Which Trimester?
Was it your Firstborn? (Not) Trying Again?
Read more within the “Home” Menu:
Home About Contact